Sir Donald Hawley DOB: 0/00/0, is a master of the black belt, as well as a multitude of other professions. He is a prominent US History teacher at Smoky Hill High School. His status at the school is akin to that of Chuck Norris, and is described to have a wide variety of superpowers, as well as being a part of multiple important events.

Hawley was born when an earthquake split open the earth. Lava erupted from the crack made, and Hawley leaped out of it. He then told the earth to "shut up," and the earth promptly did just that, with the earthquake abruptly stopping. Hawley was exactly twenty years old when this happened. He has not aged since. However, once he began teaching high school students, he sprouted white hair, obtained a receding hairline, and eminent wrinkles to disguise his true identity.

When Hawley was born, he had already known most of everything about the world, and as such, did not need an education. Anything he does not know he can easily download off of the internet using the WiFi system set up inside. And if that does not work, using his power of time-travel, he may easily found out what he wants to know, explaining his great understanding of history.

Hawley has no influences, only himself.

When Hawley is not brutally teaching his students US History, he can usually be found time traveling, practicing his black belt moves, or terrorizing children who have not taken his tests.

When Hawley is bored, he has a sparring match with Chuck Norris. Every time this happens, a large part of the world is destroyed.

Hawley has two kids whom he is training in the ways of Hawley!

Hawley has a beastly golden retriever and a swaggasaurusrex

Hawley enjoys eating students who fail his tests as a midnight snack, while turning on his favorite theme song, Pokemon.

Hawley is at the moment a US History teacher. He has also been a US Navy Captain, a pirate, a ninja, a superhero, a gangsta, and a diamond thief. He invented the wheel and sliced bread. During the prehistoric era, Sir Hawley was a dinosaur wrangler. This was before he killed all of the dinosaurs. He has also been considered in replacing Simon, Ellen, AND Randy on American Idol. (See fact section)

There are no wolves in the forest, only Hawley taking a midnight stroll.
Hawley HAS a black belt, but he will not tell anyone where he got it or why.
The meteor did not make the dinosaurs go extinct! Hawley did.
Hawley has the power to travel through time.
Sir Hawley does not need to sleep, eat, or breath. He only does so to keep people from fainting from his inherent awesomeness.
When one of Hawley's students bore him, he uses his hypnosis to make them sleep.
Every time Hawley blinks, a life is saved. Hawley never blinks.
People who have failed Hawley's tests check under their beds every night to make sure he isn't there.
Hawley is a reverse vampire, who loves the light, and hates the dark. TURN IT ON!!
It is also a fact that Hawley is Chuck Norris's hero, his role model, and his idol.
It is a fact that Hawley trained all the judges and justices that are alive or have ever lived in his awesome powers of arguement; when kids want to have an arguement with Hawley he will use a fraction of his powers to annihilate them.
Hawley can kill you with a glance, if he does no one will ever know.
Hawley knows what came first: the chicken or the egg, but he refuses to tell anyone.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it Hawley will make it make noise.
Caution: Hawley tests may cause panic attack!!
We have all survived the hawleycaust!!
Donald Hawley bathes in baby tears.
"Moses, take off your shoes. You are standing on Hawley ground."
Chuck Norris killed Hawley, then Chuck Norris woke up.
99.9% of students are said to be allergic to Hawley's tests. (I'm looking at YOU Michael.)