Biography of the Mushroom man. this is a rough first draft and so wont make any sense right now. It will be rewritten and put into proper context.

Jobs since leaving high school : worked in call centre for three/fouyr days for an insurance company.

applied for a cleaning job at gala bingo but didnt get it (the interveiwer very intelligent as he was was also very boring and unfortunatly had answer all my prepared questions in his rambling so coulnt impress him with those ) :p

Mum got me a job as a door canvasser (for windows company had to get appointments) I didnt mind this one but thought the general public very rude. stayed with it for a couple of months got sacked/left as we all just pretty much gave up trying to get leads (we were paid by commision only) the final nail in the coffin for that one was when we were taking drugs and got caught by the branch manager (should point out being stoned on marijuana was the norm so this also had something to do with us not getting many leads).

Family were quite glad when I told them I had left the windows job (didnt mention about the drugs bit )as we werer working a lot and walking for about ten hours a day for nothing.

A space came up in Unigate where my dad had worked and there way of recruiting was forst to ask members of staff if they knew anyone...so I got a temporary job. It was as the milkman were changing from rounds books to the hand held machines and my job was taking the information in there rounds books and typing it up into the computer which then downloaded the info into the individual machines. Many milkman were very skeptical but after a few weeks they were over the moon with them. Several mentioned how much more time they had free for there family. (I should point out being a milkman is not an easy job I also did a few days when i was 14 helping my uncle). The contract was for ten weeks but our team of three completed the work in 7 and sort of shot ourselves in the foot for it :p . (theres more to come on my work there)

I dossed around for a few weeks then signed up to an employment agency through the job centre. I wanted to find a job and settle in and go up in the world through hard work but in an agency it doesnt work like that you work hard to keep your job and place. My first job was working in a factory which I immediatly thought was well below my status as I saw myself as well as my intelligence. But not having the qualifications I thought well this will do for now. It was the body shop and I didnt mind it too much, got bit boring a couple of times but I found I actually liked it..here I was getting paid (not as much as I was in previous job) to sit down and not think! wow what mugs I thought to myself . My first day was on a table with all women so immediatly I thought yippeee! despite them being as common as a hedgehogs backside. (I used to think I spoke like michael Caine or the other officer in Zulu...later on I heard my voice and realised the truth :p ) So theres me hapy making small boxes and putting candles or something in them and the girls and old women are giggling a bit and then one of them sais 'your from the local prison arnt you?' I was like er no im from the agency....and just smiled along trying not to look too dorky sat at a table with women making boxes and candles and whatever the hell it was.

I was moved from there awhile later not sure how long its bit of a blur maybe a couple of weeks or days I really cant remember exactly and the agency dumped me at mushroom place! . I liked mushrooms and thought wow now I get to learn how to grow and make mushrooms! I was eagerly looking forward to getting started and see how science and nature have combined to mass produce a great tasting thing called mushrooms! So we travelling out into the countryside and I love the countryside so much fun to be had I rememberd lots of trees to climb and act like a monkey and loads of space to do absoultly nothing productive with!....I was a bit nervous then entering the mushroom place was like what the hells this! It reminded me of my time in cadets at there annual camp! (I liked annual camp and thought the billets were great although none of the others did and they all thoguht me a bit strange when i mentioned how cool it is we got working heaters next to our beds) But this place looked more serious and not fun like a real military camp. This strange buildings that were very long and had a round roof made me expect some foul play was afoot. I saw some dingy cabins (you know the sort that can be moved about and have legs as opposed to real foundations) I followed the others as they knew where to go...wow what a shithole I thought. the long buildings werent too bad when you got into them and I saw loads of rooms with beds of mushrooms about 5 foot high myabe 5 and haf foot high. Although it did remind me something of a prison like nature. The worst bit was still to come...I was handed a knife (which was good as knives were cool you coudl cut stuff up with them) and to dampen my enthusiasm they gave me some horrid hat! it was like a shower cap but designed to take every last bit of individuality out of you to stamp on your pride and self respect! these caps were made soly to crush us....but why? why would they do such a thing? I was 17 and quite happy to obey orders and get into fights and work hard and all other things that make a gentleman a proper gentleman. I learnt why they did this to us...its because the system enjoyed stamping on individuality and self respect...so I knuckled down and cut the storks off mushrooms and tried not to look to bored at the ape next to me chatting away about his life.