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'Indiana Crusade and the Raiders of the Lost Crystal Temple of Phantom Sith


This is a film directed by Steven Spielberg that was released on the 32nd of Mayuary[1]. The film is considered to be a cinematic masterpiece, earning an astonishing 76 oscars.[2]

The film contains a large cast of established actors. The role of Gary Johnston is played by Nicholas Cage. Playing Derth Mall is Tommy Wiseau with Juliette Danielle as Lisa. Reprising his role as Indiana Crusade is Shia LaBeouf.[3]

Synopsis

Oh, hai Mark! Glad you're reading this. So, the film starts in a library where we see a tragedy. A very funny tragedy, but a tragedy nonetheless. Seasoned Curlies fell over, knocking over a bookcase which falls on Derth Mall. This causes him to drop the Holy Grail down a sewer which leads to a French castle. Forty-two years later, Indiana Crusade breaks into the aforementioned French castle and steals the Holy Grail because that's what he does; steals shit from the French. On his way out he walks past a king and his knights who were being arrested for the murder of a historian. When he gets back to the college he works at, but for some reason he can leave for a few weeks and no one gives a fuck, he discovers that it had the secret plans for the Death Stirrer hidden inside. The Death Stirrer thoroughly stirs an entire planet's worth of pasta until everyone on the planet has had enough.[4]

Indiana Crusade teams up with President Donald Trump to destroy the Death Stirrer plans. Unbeknownst to Indiana, Trump wants to control the Death Stirrer for his own nefarious purposes, most notably, destroying fake news outlets like CNN. The two meet Lucy Skywalker, who is not a gender bent Luke Skywalker that was stolen from Tumblr. Lucy tells them that she can show them the way to the rebel base and arms them both. Lucy leads the way, Indiana close behind. They are stopped by a gunshot hitting the ground right in front of them. They turn around and Trump demands the Death Stirrer plans. Indiana, having no choice, gives Trump the Death Stirrer plans. As Trump is backing away, a rare Computer Generatur Avis flys by Trumps throat, slitting it with its wings.

  1. ^ "Indiana Crusade release date".
  2. ^ "Indiana Crusade oscars".
  3. ^ "Indiana Crusade characters".
  4. ^ "Indiana Crusade synopsis".

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