"dont you just wanna rub that monkey?"

Jack was born and raised in Central PA, but the specific location is unknown. Jack is known for dressing in "cool" and "outlandish" cloths to release his inner self. Jack is also known for not being able to supress his urge to give people topless carwashes. Hobbies of Jack include, collecting feet of helpless rabbits for luck, pretending to be a girl, slapping Mike Adams, stealing hair from the arm pits of sweedish women, and watching TV. Jack has been inspired by, Reba McEntire, Adolf Hitler, Satan, a cat named "dog", and Goatse

As of November 11th 2006 Jack Stewart is missing for unknown reasons. If you have any information on his where-a-bouts, Please call 1-800-GET-JACK.

UPDATE Later on Noverber 11th 2006, Jack was seen feasting upon a cold Cheeseburger flavored Hot Pocket, and washing it down with a nice bottle of Windex.

The next day, everyone believed Jack to still be alive and figured he'd make his incredible return to High School, but he wasn't seen. There was a new kid though, at least who everyone believe to be a new kid, it turns out this was really Jack, but his appearance had greatly changed, he had cut his hair completely off, and removed some of his frekles. This began the era of Bald Jack.

NAME: JACK STEWART
AGE: 14
HEIGHT: ABOUT 6 FEET
WEIGHT: 453 lbs.
EYES: BRILLIANT BLUE
HAIR: RED MOHAWK (changes to hide his identity)
File:Jackismissing2.jpg